Maybe you’ve noticed that things have been a bit quiet here. Part of that is that I’ve been working on the Super Secret Design Project (reveal on Monday!), and part of it is that I’m enjoying our summer break. But part of it is that I’ve been a bit preoccupied with something else. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to – or if I could – write about it, but I finally feel like I need to talk it out.
Bear – the dog who doesn’t eat pizza – is old. And she’s declining. And it’s hard. And I’m not handling it well.
We adopted Bear when (we think) she was eight months old. She’s now 14. Her back legs don’t work very well; she has a hard time getting up and down. She hasn’t been able to go for walks for more than a year. And – there’s no good way to say this – she can’t always make it outside.
Most days, I have to clean up after her. I really should buy stock in Lysol. But seriously, it’s been a mess. And discouraging. And heart breaking.
When I was first thinking about writing this post, I thought it was just a post about how I’m heartbroken about her getting old. But it’s not just that. It’s also about how I find myself not wanting to do home projects because I’m either cleaning up poop or because I know that the room or something in it will be messed up. Or I’m running away from home – doing stuff away from the house to take a break from the sadness.
I am heartbroken. No two ways about it. And I know that she knows what’s going on, too, which makes me even sadder.
I am trying to focus on the fact that she’s had a beautiful, long, lovely life and that she has been and is the very best dog who’s ever walked this earth. (No offense, Hank – you’re a very close second, but she was our firstborn.) I’m trying to just love on her and hug her and give her extra treats when Hank isn’t looking. I’m trying to be sympathetic to her issues, and trying not to cry when she falls down.
But I have to tell you that it’s hard and that I’m not handling it well at all.
Thank you for listening. I promise the next post is going to be a DIY post and won’t contain the word “poop.” Thanks, y’all. xoxo
A "recovering lawyer," I turned in my power suits for power tools and a life of DIY. I believe in merging old and new to make a house a home.
Well hell girl, I don’t blame you for being sad. And this is a post where I can totally deal with the word poop. These guys steal our hearts, fill them up and then break them unfortunately. I’m so sorry and I wish there was something I could do. . {{hugs}}
Thank you, Shannon! I appreciate your sweet words. It’s so true – but I’m so grateful she’s been part of our lives for so long. Thank you! xoxo
So sorry to hear about your baby. My older lab is having similar issues and is a similar age. However I have been taking him to swim therapy at Atlanta Dog Paddle with Tori Rice in East Atlanta and am amazed at the impact the therapy has had. Shadow, my lab, can walk better, hold his bowels better and is overall happier in the weeks he has his therapy. Ping me and I will tell you more. I fully credit therapy for his happy quality of life and mobility. Hang in there.
Thanks, Chris! I’ll message you – maybe it’ll help. Thank you!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this with her. We said goodbye to our Angus, who was almost 13, a year and a half ago. It was hard to watch him get older, slow down, and begin to have older dog issues. He was our very best dog ever (no offense to his older dog sister who passed away 6 years ago – she had our hearts but also had lots of issues). Hugs to you, Bear, Hank, and the whole family. Keep giving her extra love!
Thank you, Alicia. It’s so true – it’s so hard to watch her go through this. Hugs to you and your family, too. P.S. Your new puppy is SO cute!
I understand. 🙁
Thank you, friend. xoxo I appreciate that.
Oh boy, you have me crying. I’m so sorry. I don’t have a single piece of advice, but just know that I am thinking of you all and praying for you to find some kind of peace.
Thank you, sweet friend! It’s so good to know that. Thank you, thank you – that’s just what I need. xoxo P.S. Congrats on the new house!!
Oh, shoot, Karen. I’m so sorry. That’s really tough. Thanks for being personal here. We cheer with you and stress with you, and sadness is really important.
Thank you, friend! It is really hard. The other night, Bear had a major accident (like, all over the house) right before dinner. Once I got everything cleaned up, I finally sat down to dinner with the kids and just broke down, bawling. The kids yelled, “Group hug!” and embraced me as hard as they could. I think – as goofy as it sounds – that Inside Out was a good movie to show them that sadness is normal and important. We had a big talk after that movie about how crying and sadness is normal and fine and part of life. They know how much I love Bear and how much this is hurting me. Sadness and joy are partners, after all. I’m trying to be positive, but it is really hard. Thank you for your kind words and understanding my need to share (maybe overshare!). xoxo
I also understand. I think one of the hardest parts is seperating your need to hold on… from your need to do what is best… for your furbaby. I think you have taken a big step by including it your blog.
Thank you, Linda. That’s so true – it’s hard to know. I appreciate your kind words.
Crying tears of sadness with you.
Thank you, sweet friend. I really appreciate it. It’s so hard.
Karen I reaching through the computer to give you a hug…through tears. I’m in the same boat. Homer our 10 1/2 year old German Shepherd isn’t using he’s back legs well. I made a sling from an old towel 6 years ago when he broke his back. I used it for 2 months then after his amazing surgery. For the last 5 years he has done wonderful. Most people would have never realized he broke his back. But now the last few months his back legs are giving him trouble. The sling is back out next to his bed or on the front porch where he spends his mornings. Our backs get tired from lifting a 100+ lb dog. The cleaning is daily. Plus the smells of an older dog can send everyone out of the house. But we sit with them and it eases our backs. I usually have paint to clean up anyway. Smells do cover up. At broken back was just one of several challenges. Cancer was another. Homer is our second shepherd. The first I still can’t talk about after 11 years. My heart is with you and your family. Hugs, Jeanette
Wow – a broken back! What an amazing story – thank you for sharing it with me. Bear is a two-time cancer survivor. I’ve done the towel trick to lift her up (after she had doggie vertigo and other maladies). Thank you for sharing your story – it’s so hard. xoxo
Your story reminded me of our aussie, Rocket, we had for over 14 years. It was a sad day when we decided to say goodbye to him. I could look into his eyes and see that he was confused as to why he couldn’t do the things he used to. (Taking walks, climbing up the stairs, jumping on the couch to sit next to me.) It wasn’t fair to him to have that sad quality of life. I feel you pain in seeing your Bear decline in his old age. It is so difficult and I understand. So sorry you and your family are having to deal with this. Sending many hugs to you and Bear. Give him a cuddle for me!
Awww – thank you. I will. I’m so humbled and helped by all the stories everyone has about their experiences with old dogs. Rocket sounds like an awesome dude. Thank you again.
Hey Lady! Life has its hard parts and I hate that you are stuck in one. We will be back Sunday. Let me know if you need anything or if you and the kiddos want to come hide over at y house. I have a design project I might need your consultation on. Hang in there! Looking forward to seeing you soon.
Thank you, friend. I can’t wait til you get back and you can tell me more about your travels (loving the blog posts!)! I’d be happy to help with your design project – and lunch!! See you soon. Thank you again. xoxo
Karen, so sorry you are going through this. It is tough when our babies get old. I’ve been there a few times and it hurts like crazy. Always remember the good times you had.
I will. Thank you, Judi. I really appreciate your kind words. xoxo
Hi Karen, I recently had to make the decision to have our Fox Terrier “Alfie” put to sleep as he had deteriorated from aggressive lymphoma to a point where his quality is life had diminished considerably and his fight had worn him out. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and it broke my heart but know I did the right thing for Alfie.
A tip for the poop situation is white vinegar, it cleans and deodorizes especially on carpets and other fabrics, hope this helps. Regards, Pam
Thank you, Pam! I haven’t tried white vinegar by itself; I used it with baking soda to get out a stain. Just spray it on the spot? Thank you. And thank you for sharing your story. Hugs to you, too. 🙂
Oh Karen – I am so sorry to read about sweet Bear. We are having a very similar summer – our dogs are 16 & 13 (and we should buy stock in Lysol along with you). Sending lots of hugs and hope. xo
Thank you, Lanie! It’s so good to hear from you, although I wish it were under better circumstances! Maybe one day we can meet at Costco, grab some Lysol, and maybe lunch?? 🙂 Hugs to you and your family!
I’m so sorry, each of my cats has been such a big part of my life and I die a little with each of them. I know I’ve kept each of them longer than I should have. I just can’t bear the thought of life without them. I finally know at what stage we need to take a trip to the vet. It’s never easy and their memories never leave me. At some point I only remember the fun times. My heart breaks for you. You’ll never be sorry for the compassionate care you’ve given this beloved Bear.
Barb
Thank you, Barb. I really appreciate your kind words. It’s not easy. But I’m so grateful that everyone is sharing their stories with me. I was thinking that this was just me going through this…that I was overreacting or something…but instead, I know it’s just that we love our dogs and cats and other pets immensely and that has joy and sadness that comes with it. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Thank you again. xoxo
A www I’m so sad just reading this. Just tonight I was thinking about the special bonds and connections we have with our pets. They are an amazing part of our families. Hang in there. I wish there was something better to say to take away the dumps. Xo
Thank you, sweet friend! Your encouraging and kind words are enough. Thank you – I can’t tell you how much the support means to me. xoxo
I am so very sorry :'( I had to release my two kitties from their earthly pain and it was heartbreaking. One had cancer on the back of her tongue and there was no treatment. Though it was awful, it was easier because I knew she was in pain and needed to go. Now, when I had to release my 24 yr old kittie that I had since he was 6 wks old, that was the worst thing that had happened to me. He actually said ma ma. I held him and cried loudly a the vet’s office after “it” was done. I did this for at least 30 minutes.
There is nothing I can say to make your decision easier, except, you are doing your loved one a favor by letting him go on to the Bridge and be free of his aches and pains and run free!!!
Thank you, Ann – thank you for sharing your story and for your kind words. I can’t tell you how much it means to me and how much I appreciate all the support. Thank you!
You know how I feel about those furry babies, and that we’ve lost two in the last two summers. It’s so difficult to have to let them go. Stay strong in the love of your family and let Hank help you through the aftermath.
Thank you, Cheryl! I appreciate that.