I realize that most of my posts are DIY- and project-related, but sometimes I get all wacky and post about something else. This is one of those posts.
I am the first to admit that my schedule can get kind of wacky. I have a full-time job teaching. I’m a mother to two kids and two dogs, a wife, a blogger, a picker and a grinner (extra credit if you can name the song). Anyway, you get the idea. My life is nuts sometimes.
And often I think, “Am I doing this right?” This = parenting, work, dinner, you name it.
And then, one day, it all falls into place. It all…works.
For example, I’ve been concerned in the past about my son’s reading. Not that he can’t read, but that he doesn’t love it. This is concerning to me because he came from two parents who are avid readers, and I can’t quite understand it. He always wants me to read to him, rather than read to himself, before bed.
Last night, I asked him why he wanted me to read to him when he could read the book himself. He said, “Mom, you just add something to the story that makes it better.” Sigh. OK then.
Today was a nutty day like many others. Between chess club for the kids and soccer practice, my son had little time to do his homework, which totally stressed him out. He cried, he refused to eat his snack, he turned all purple in the face. I hugged him and told him not to fret; he could do it later.
I thought to myself, “Maybe I signed him up for too many activities. Maybe he shouldn’t do the chess club (which he specifically requested to join again this year). Maybe I should have him miss soccer practice…” and so on. So much doubting.
He goes to soccer. He eats dinner, showers, gets ready for bed, and comes back to his homework. His homework is writing a story with a particular list of vocabulary words. I’m going to include the story here, because I just loved it (with the vocabulary words underlined and any names left out):
Once there was a boy named D. He had a friend named A. A likes to chatter about stuff. One day, a ferocious horse came charging at them. But all it did was flick them with his dominant hoof. It was trying to communicate using a signal. It loves it when someone grooms its mane. He was trying to give them an alert. Two men were having a conflict. The horse led them to the two men. They stopped the two men and they all lived happily ever after.
I’m not saying it’s going to win a Caldecott or anything, but not bad for a kid who was crying about homework a few hours beforehand.
The point I’m making is not to say what great kids I have or what a great parenting job I’ve done. Quite the contrary. What I’m saying is: it’s ok. It’s going to be hard. I’m going to question my choices – for me and my kids. But I have to have faith that I’m not screwing up. I have to trust my choices. I’ll admit when I’m wrong, but I have to have faith and confidence and not question every darn thing.
Listen to Mustn’ts, child, listen to the Don’ts.
Listen to the Shouldn’ts, the Impossibles, the Won’ts.
Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child, Anything can be.
-Shel Silverstein
Sometimes it falls apart. But sometimes, it works. And it’s a beautiful thing.
A "recovering lawyer," I turned in my power suits for power tools and a life of DIY. I believe in merging old and new to make a house a home.
Great advice Karen! Great post and great story by your boy. Loved it all… and I think it’s an important reminder for all parents as we get settled back into school routines.
Thanks, Holly! I think that’s a lot of it – we’re settling into a new routine after a very relaxed, non-routine summer. It’s hard.
Karen I love your honesty in this. I think we all have doubts but you are right in pointing out that we must have the confidence that we are making the right choices. It’s the sweet moments like your son admiring your special touch to the story that makes it all worth while!
Thanks, Tami! It’s true – I know all parents question their choices from time to time. I think with the new school year and new activities, the time is ripe for questioning and doubting everything. We parents just have to have faith and confidence that we are ok and that our kids are (therefore) ok, too.
Lover and a sinner? I wouldn’t have pegged you for a Steve Miller girl.
I too find myself questioning my judgment lately. I think transitions (such as to a new school year) make all of us wacky, and our interactions with the rest of our wacky family members exponentially complicate the matter. For myself, I have prescribed sleep, deep breaths, knowing when to take a time out, and doing things that make me calm and sane (like swapping out a lot of door hinges).
I’m sure your DIY posts will be back in full force as you work your way through this stuff by working with your hands.
Oh seriously – I love Steve Miller Band. Guitar, harmony, you get the idea.
I like your prescriptions and I am going to take your medicine, too (as it were). Good advice, friend.
Sigh . . . I love it when you DIY-gress.
Your son is right, “you just add something to the story that makes it better.”
Thanks, Geralin! I love DIY-gress! Awesome.
As a Grandma, and now even a Great Grandma (I married at 12 LOL), your post brings back memories, many of them. Not all great but most have been good. I used to feel guilty because I had to work, and didn’t keep up well enough with stuff at home. Like when clean laundry didn’t get folded and wrinkled up sitting in the basket. One morning as I ironed a shirt for my son just seconds before he had to leave, I apologized to him for getting behind and always ironing at the last minute. He gave me a big hug and said “Ma, it’s okay. My shirts are always nice and warm from the iron.”
Just “Fly Like An Eagle” and you’ll be fine.
Cheryl, I love that story! So cute. I know – we perceive that we are doing things wrong when, in fact, our kids don’t see it or see it differently. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.
To quote Homer: “MAYBE!!!!”
Thanks, Todd, for the encouragement. Truly. Best brother ever, including China. 😉